We’ll be treated to Rece, Coach Corso, Herbie Herbstreit, Dez and the rest of the gang on the Par 3 Course right next to Magnolia Lane. And although there won’t be the “patrons” we usually see at A Tradition Unlike Any Other, we will still get some virtual fans as GameDay has had all season.
And what’s College GameDay without some fan signs? Below we make some recommendations for what folks could put together heading into Saturday’s sports convergence.
“Greg Norman thinks Penn State has it in the bag. Love, Indiana”
All Penn State had to do was fall on it, and all Greg Norman had to do was shoot par or better on Sunday after starting the tournament at -13.
Or you can just fill in your favorite meltdown in college football ever here.
“This place is as green as Ole Miss’s bagmen”
Nothing like a little Egg Bowl smack to start us off, as it’s a ritual not just confined to Saturday’s in the Magnolia State. Of course the forgiving lot in Starkville is understanding and accepting of their rvial’s misallocation of funds and would never bring these things up in the context of making things personal. Uh-uh. No sir.
“Kevin Na is slower than an ACC replay official”
Did you see that travesty of over-officiating in the Clemson-Notre Dame game? I think they’re still reviewing if the players got on the bus leaving the stadium correctly. What they should have been reviewing is the mask-less storming of the field on a campus that’s already had a Covid-19 problem.
And Na would fit right in as one of John Swofford’s employee, as he’s got all the efficacy of a turtle when players are paired with him. Na could slow down Old Faithful. Na turns sunsets into sunrises.
What we’re saying here is there’s nothing worse than getting paired with a guy that’s busting out the greens book from four feet. Feel free to replace Na with Jason Day, Jordan Spieth, or plenty of others.
“J.B. Holmes can punt at Georgia Tech”
Since we’ll be in the North Georgia market, let’s keep it close to home as the physique of another slow-player equates pretty well with one of the best punters in America, Georgia Tech’s Pressley Harvin III. They’re also both really good at what they do.
But check out these well-conditioned athletes:
We all need more lovable, talented... ahem... bigger gentlemen in our sports. How can you not root for both guys from your couch?
Holmes has won five times on the PGA Tour, and Harvin is averaging 47.4 yards per boot this season with a long of 70 (!!), so don’t think you need to look like Brooks Koepka to be among the best at what you do.
“DJ Uiagleilei & Justin Fields throw it farther than Bryson hits it”
As they have for most of 2020, the entire sport is talking about how Bryson DeChambeau is changing the game of golf by bulking up like an offensive lineman and trying to hit the ball into lower orbit every time he reaches in his bag.
But don’t forget two of the best quarterbacks in college football are doing things that are actually freakier. Check out Ohio State’s Justin Fields and Clemson’s DJ Uiagalelei ... in high school!
That time when Ohio State QB Justin Fields threw a football 75 yards as a HS senior.— MaxPreps (@MaxPreps) June 17, 2020
But Clemson freshman QB DJ Uiagalelei one-upped him by tossing it 85 yards as a rising HS sophomore!
( @QBCollective ) @DJUiagalelei pic.twitter.com/Je9v49ga4A
When it comes to insane distance, we’ll take what these two guys over the US Open champ in the weird hat every time.
“Travis Etienne has more shake than a putt at #10”
The 10th Hole at Augusta drops 116 feet from the tee box to the green, proving the oldest adage in golf that you can’t really see the elevation changes on the course during CBS’s coverage. But the toughest hole on the course relative to par also has a green that particularly preposterous. It breaks right-to-left, and you can putt right off it the dance floor if you’re not careful.
Here’s FIGJAM showing how it’s supposed to be done:
Usually if you turn that slippery and fast downhill... you’re in the starting backfield for the Clemson Tigers: