Oh hey: It’s your Basic Batch coming in hot with another round of predictions for Episode 2. Last week we met all the guys vying for Claire’s heart, and while the introductions were as over-the-top as always, there were a few standouts. We met a knight in shining armor (Chasen), a guy who put her dogs on his t-shirt (Kenny), and a guy who looks like Warner from Legally Blonde’s hot dad (Bennett). And of course we met some guy named Dale.
Are they all future Bachelor Nation stars? Will they all get a ticket to paradise? Only time will tell.
ABC also hinted at the Dale drama and that mayyyyybe Claire and Dale ride off into a socially-distanced sunset and we get a new bachelorette. While we all know the rumors, no one from ABC has confirmed making this one truly the (clears throat, channels Chris Harrison) most dramatic season ever.
Claire went on the usual Bachelorette media blitz this week and even Jimmy Kimmel tried to pry the Dale drama out of her, but she didn’t budge. You gotta admit, she’s unapologetic about whatever she’s done with Dale, what she’s looking for and what she won’t settle for. I respect that. At the same time, I can’t help but be skeptical about Dale but that’s a post for another day. And yes that’s your not-so-subtle hint to check back tomorrow for my take on Dale and a shameless plug to click on my stuff this season. You know you want to and you know you’ll like it.
Like 2020, this season is bananas and DraftKings Sportsbook is here for every tear-filled limo ride and hot tub hookup. Like last week, we’ve put together a series of things that are fun to bet on and if you make the right guesses, you can win up to $1000 from DraftKings Sportsbook in their official Bachelorette Week 2 pool.
There are 10 questions, and like last week I’ll give my best guesses here.
What Will be Higher On Tuesday Night?
- Roses Given Out
- World Series runs
So we have not one but TWO testosterone filled options to choose from, and unless something crazy happens the number of roses given out tonight will be way higher than World Series Game 1 runs. This is Episode 2, and the pool is still pretty big. Yes the previews hinted at a walk-out but I’m not confident that A) it actually happens and B) that it’s this early in the season. And while we’re on the topic of baseball, unless Tyler Glasnow has a meltdown more dramatic than a fan favorite not receiving the final rose, I don’t think the total runs will be higher than the number of roses given out tonight. I just can’t see it. Fight me.
P.S.: I live in Tampa so of course I’ll be flipping channels... go Rays!
What will be the theme of the first date?
- Athletic Event
- Pool Party
- Tour of City
Ahh dating in the time of Covid. Nothing says romance more than going on a group date with guys who have to get tested for the coronavirus before they touch you, amirite?
The popular athletic event group date makes for amazing TV. Sweaty men who may or may not be there for the right reasons vying for a one-on-one date with a girl they just met, and a chance to survive another week (and maybe make it far enough to make it to Paradise in 2021). What a time to be alive.
Will anyone reference falling in love?
Contestants in the newer seasons in this franchise do not mess around. They cut to the chance right away and now that ABC lets them say “I love you,” where in earlier seasons they were prohibited from saying it, so now all gloves are off.
Saying I love you or talking about falling in love this early on in a normal dating environment may set off major creep alarms, but... this is The Bachelorette. The guys need to be aggressively unapologetic about wanting to fall in love. Hey, I don’t make the rules here.
What type of date will dale be invited to first?
- Group Date
- No Dates
For the record: No, I do not know what really happens. Reality Steve doesn’t even know what really happened. (shout out to RS!). But I am 10000% sure I’m sick of hearing the name Dale. He could prove me wrong, and I hope he does. My guess is he goes on a group date and she chooses him for a one-on-one. If it’s not Dale, it will be Blake who is super-sweet and dreamy and will be a perfect Bachelor in 2021. So for the love of God can we please give him the screen time to get there?!?!
Who will say can I steal you for a second?
- Other/No One
I think it will either be Clare wanting to talk to Dale OR Dale wanting to talk to Claire on a group date or party. My gut tells me it will be Dale wanting to talk to Claire. Could also be Eazy or the ascot guy who looks like Warner from Legally Blonde after some hard years working at his dad’s firm — but my money is on Dale for the first (and maybe the very last) “steal.”
How many times will the word husband be said?
- Over 4.5
- Under 4.5
A LOT. Like, if this were a drinking game (The Bach has those too), I’d be dead. The show hinges on Clare finding who she thinks is husband material. The guys know that so they’ll call out each other for not being “husband material” (i.e. not here for The Right Reasons) so that alone will be enough to put us over.
How many times will chris harrison say”coming up?”
- Over 3.5
- Under 3.5
How many commercial breaks do we get because that’s how many times he’ll say it. Over 3.5 for sure.
How many people will reference Clare’s age?
The theme of this season is built around Clare’s age. The season poster was a parody of The Graduate so like it or not, Claire’s age is a thing. It’s a thing not because it’s really is a thing, but because some 12-year-old in marketing at ABC decided it should be a thing.
38 is not old. I’ll say it again louder for the people in the back: THIRTY-EIGHT IS NOT OLD. And she’s 38 not 98 for the love of all that is holy. She’s a strong lead but is also still a millennial. Claire’s age should not be a thing but because it IS a thing guys are coming in knowing she’s the oldest bachelorette. So you betcha it will be a topic of conversation.
How many former football players (Dale, Eazy, Jason) will receive roses?
I think all three are becoming fan favorites. Easy is keeping the salmon suit tradition alive and well. Jason seems super sweet and likable. And Dale is, well, ummm... let’s move on shall we? Nothing to see here peeps. Keep it moving.
I predict all three will get roses and two out of three, if not three out of three, will make it to Paradise in 2021.
Will Chris Harrison say “the final rose” of the evening?
Y’all know he lives for it. It’s one of his signature lines and big moments on the show.
That’s my take, and this Basic Batch is out. Good luck, make good choices, and be here for the right reasons tomorrow. Xoxo.