People apoplectic Odell Beckham Jr. gives cash to unpaid LSU players

In the biggest scandal amongst columnists your parents loved reading every Sunday, Cleveland Browns wide receiver and LSU alum Odell Beckham Jr. — a guy that would have shattered every college receiving record ever with three years of Joe Burrow at quarterback — decided to compensate a few players for winning his alma mater a national championship on Monday night.

We have video of OBJ droppin’ that bag on junior wide receivers Justin Jefferson (a likely first-round pick, so pay it forward young man) and Jontre Kirklin (you too, but go easy as you’re not a first-round pick like the other guy).

Because a state that’s elected Huey P. Long and Edwin Edwards as governor has a deep tradition of finger-wagging about cash transactions, LSU is taking this crime quite seriously.

Joe Burrow unintentionally outed OBJ for this as well because his eligibility expired at the end of his masterful 42-25 win over Clemson to wrap up one of the best seasons in the history of college football by any individual and team.

College players have been paid? In the $EC? The horror of a multi-billion industry compensating the labor on which it rests! I am stunned!

Lets not forget this isn’t the first time OBJ took out the Franklins around his team, offering to pay any fine of the Golden Band of Tigerland in 2017 if they played the song “Neck,” the fine incurred due to the profanity which the crowd sings during the chorus.

BREAKING: bribery works in Baton Rouge.

When the level of outrage dies down, we’ll do a deep investigation of how this might affect LSU’s chances of repeating as SEC and National Champs — ok, that’s over and it’s not one iota.

Need a way to fix this issue? Let’s allow the players to make at least some money, allowing the market forces to decide how much they should earn. On Monday night LSU faced a coach that makes $9.3 million a year but opposes paying his own players. The system on which everyone is getting paid (including those of us writing this piece right now) makes money for everyone but those we are writing about.

So keep passing out those bills, OBJ. We see you and respect you for it. But maybe next time do it away from the cameras though so those holding on to the last vestiges of a dying, unjust system can go back to watching CSI reruns once they get home from the early bird seating.